“I Only Speak to Jews”

When I was younger I lived by the bohemian lifestyle as portrayed in Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge, believing in truth, beauty, freedom, and love long before understanding the “red light”. On Pinterest, I continue to seek out mustard-colored couches with Aztec-like throw pillows, bohemian rugs like this as well as woven basket-filled walls of emerald green with gold accents and plants looking so fresh that you can smell the plastic lemons dangling from the furthest branch. The idea of it is all very enticing and has its own hint of glamour and design- fuck the farmhouse style signs reeking of “bless this mess” and “ messy hair don’t care” and signs above the kitchen that say “kitchen” – as if we didn’t know what room had the stove, microwave and granite countertops. Let’s stop labeling our living quarters for the love of god. I’d rather have a sign above the coffee pot yelling at me “POT HEAD ALERT” *weeoww weeoww*. Seriously though, I want that.

However, aside from my home decor preferences and not fully understanding the theme of prostitution in the film at a mere age of eight, there were bits of songs that I belted out like a part that sings, “ I only speak the truth”, though I belted what I originally believed “I only speak to Jews”, and the looks I would get from my parents, oh ho ho, they make a lot more sense now. This is called a mondegreen. This occurs when a lyric or phrase is misheard, therefore providing a completely different meaning.

I could care less that expresso wets your appetite; this is an eggcorn.

Everything about the sentence is wrong but still has the potential to make sense to the average Joe.

The sentence should properly read: I couldn’t care less that espresso whets your appetite.

Furthermore, while a mondegreen is similar, it should not be confused with an eggcorn, no, not an acorn, an eggcorn. The difference is that the meaning of the eggcorn doesn’t change even though the words do, unlike a mondegreen.

Now my favorite word fucks are spoonerisms- you know, what happens when you’ve had one too many glasses of cab.

I hold Tim to bring the cop porn so see can we 13 weasons rhy.

Cop porn for Popcorn is definitely my favorite spoonerism and my husband’s is probably bass ackward for ass backward.

This strand of spoonerisms, or slurred funnies, should read: I told him to bring the popcorn so we can see 13 Reasons Why.

I know I am not the only individual plagued by spoonerisms, mondegreens, and eggcorns, so what’s your favorite word vomit used frequently in your home? I’d love to know! ( I won’t make fun of you… much) Also, if you’re interested in more mondegreens, this book available on Kindle will probably be most amusing, so grab your favorite wine and have a good read.

The point of this post is to inform you of my means of inspiration when I write headlines and taglines. I enjoy a good play on words. I think through all of English’s mistakes and find a way to make them funny, make you think, and keep us remembering way beyond passing that billboard. While I haven’t been totally blessed to use either of these for professional copy, I did use fun word play as inspiration to provide an amusing ad overall, such as my Sports Beans student campaign and even Art.com. Though, one may argue that my Art.com headlines are, without a doubt, examples of eggcorns, and it’s much more memorable than using the artists’ names.

A part of my student campaign for Art.Com. Eggcorn.
Print portion of a student campaign for Sports Beans.

Song on Repeat: When I Was Older by Billie Eilish

This song has been played repeatedly in my free time. It’s haunting, subtle, ominous, and beautiful. I wouldn’t say it inspired this post, but it has been coinciding with my thriller novels I’ve been digging my nose into recently, and I love a good background song while getting lost in a fictional universe.

I, Anastasia Miller, creator of The Ana Glass is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

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